A Little Update on Anal Sex
A few days ago I traveled to LA to shoot for Tristan Taormino‘s next film project on “pegging”, or strap-on sex for men. This will be her second film on the subject, the first being Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Anal Pleasure for Men which was awarded the 2010 Feminist Porn Awards “Smutty Schoolteacher Award for Sex Education”. I feel honored to be a part of this new production, and was equally pleased to work with my friend and fellow performer Mickey Mod.
Photo: Ben Hoffman (Ghost) – project1site.com
(If you like this image, comment on it at Ben Hoffman’s website, project1site.com, where he takes a fine art photograph and posts it each and everyday. An inspirational and beautiful project!)
I’ll say more about the movie when it is released, and in the meantime write a little bit about anal sex. I have turned a few lovers on to anal, people of diverse sexual anatomies and genders. I often enjoy rimming and realistic strap-on sex that is tied to gender play and queer fantasy, and I love pairing anal sex with cock sucking. I also find it really rewarding to introduce the act to those who are new to it.
Probably one of the biggest misconceptions about anal is that it’s only done by gay men. The second misconception is that it hurts. The truth is, anyone can enjoy anal sex.
Tips for enjoyable anal sex exploration include using plenty of lube (water-based and silicone are great), taking it slow (good warm-up), and clear communication can help you enjoy anal sex. Things that can increase comfort include cleanliness (healthy diet, shower, enema, towels) and the use of various toys (such as anal-safe vibrators, as well as kinky butt plugs and advanced toys).
There’s quite a lot to learn when it comes to anal sex, including much to learn about anatomy, such as voluntary and involuntary sphincter muscles. It’s also important to keep safer sex in mind. Several books and DVDs are available on the subject, and there are also workshops and websites devoted to butt sex. I recommend checking out Tristan’s site for her Anal Advisor column, and stay tuned for the release of the new film!
Great article. I’m glad you wrote this. I love everything about anal sex. One day I hope to find the right partner to teach me the joys of anal sex.
There doesn’t seem any doubt that there’s a boom in interest in anal sex. Or at the very least, a new willingness to talk about it.
What if this is an anti-vagina movement? After all, stripped of the mystique they were once shrouded in, vaginas aren’t so great. They bleed and squirt, and indirectly cause headaches and emotional outbursts. Their most spectacular purpose (childbirth) is unsightly and painful.
And to let you in on a little secret we guys are starting to discover that outside the bedroom, they cause us considerable discomfort – ruling, as they do, our lives in so many ways.
Now butts, on the other hand … Well, speaking of hands: A well trained butt will accept not only a hand but a pretty large part of an arm as well. Unlike a vagina, which has a dead end, if you go in the other entrance you are limited only by time, trust, and your sense of adventure. No prissiness here.
And, butts are equal opportunity. Leaving aside the minor point of prosthetic assistance, where butt sex is concerned your partner’s gender is irrelevant. Instead of performing the steps of the mating dance we can get down to exploring each other intimately in both mind and body, convention set aside. Even the top/bottom roles can be readily exchanged.
In fact butt sex is a pretty good metaphor for other kinds of intimacy. Before you can even think about going there successfully there needs to be a shared connection, knowledge, and understanding. In contrast, the vagina is pretty much public property. Bored wives and cheap prostitutes have been making theirs available, free of any other engagement, for years. The vagina even has it’s own stage show! (Somehow i don’t think we’re going to see the Anal Monologues any time soon ..)
In the same way that Jiz Lee is the prototypical genderless person for the 21 century I think that anal sex will become as ubiquitous as oral was for a while there.
(tongue only somewhat in cheek)
Thanks E — I’m sure you’ll find someone special, and until then can certainly explore on your own! (Speaking of which, Happy Masturbation Month!)
DG — What interesting perspectives you have! I’m not sure there’s any anti-vagina movements here. Actually since you mention it, a big part of anal pleasure for a lot of female-assigned people is the pleasure of that pressure through the very thin walls that separate the two. Definitely a good G-spot stimulus despite the fact that it’s in a different whole.
I do have to question what you mean by vagina’s starting to cause guys discomfort? As an aside, I know a LOT of guys who have a vagina, and I know cisgender men who also go through monthly hormonal woes as well so there’s more to sex and gender than simple Hallmark assumptions! And I definitely wouldn’t consider a vagina prissy by any means — especially not mine, haha!